


It Was a Dream

by Supernaturallycrazy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 07:50:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3282599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supernaturallycrazy/pseuds/Supernaturallycrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel goes missing. Sam and Dean try their very best to get him back but when they do he's not acting like himself. Sam knows why. Will Dean realise whats wrong and help fix it in time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Perfect Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this is my first fan fiction so hopefully its alright and hopefully you guys like it!!  
> Comments and feedback would be awesome Thanks guys xxx

These last few weeks have been incredibly stressful. For both Sam and Dean. Cas had been missing for longer than either of them liked. But now they had finally found him. 

Sam and Dean walked into the wear house that they had finally traced Cas to. And there he was, strung up and chained to the wall, unconscious.  They had been hunting a Djinn when the bastard had taken Cas. Although rather strangely, he hadn’t taken Cas back to his usual lair with all his other victims, because when the two brothers got there it was clear no one had stepped foot in the place since before Cas had been taken from them. 

“Cas” Dean shouted and broke into a run. He lifted Cas’ head and ran this thumb along his cheek. It was clearly an intimate gesture and Sam decided to stand back and let his brother have this moment. As if to suddenly remember that his brother was there, the moment passed Dean turned back to Sam, “We need to kill this damn Djinn,” he said furiously “it’s the only way to get Cas back.” 

Sam walked around the warehouse and examined its inventory. “It doesn't look like its been here for a while” he told Dean.  “Well, what the hell are we gonna do then!” Dean snapped, getting increasingly more agitated. 

“We’ll have to go in and get him" replied Sam, Dean gave him a confused look but before he could reply Sam continued. “I can go into the dream that the Djinn has placed Cas in and convince him to wake himself up and while I'm doing that, you can stay here and watch in case it comes back and if it does then you gank it and speed up the process” 

span>Dean stayed silent for a couple of seconds. “Would that work?” he asked quietly.

span>“It should” his brother replied.

“All right lets do it now” Dean demanded. He shrugged off his jacket and placed it on the floor along with his gun and their duffle bag and then proceeded to undo all of Cas’ chains and move him to the floor. Dean cursed under his breath and he realised he could possibly be ruining Cas’ beloved trench coat. 

He straightened Cas’ clothes once he was on the ground. And Sam watched as Dean took meticulous care to make sure Cas was okay.  While all this had been going on, Sam was getting together everything they needed for him to enter into Cas’ mind. He was a little nervous, he felt like he was about to invade the angels most private thoughts, which technically he was. 

“Okay its all set, I should have about 5 hours to find Cas and persuade him to come back, when the 5 hours are up I’ll return to my body and if all goes to plan Cas will to,” he said to Dean. Dean looked slightly worried. “I know its not a very long time” Sam continued. “But I’ve never done this before and I don’t want to push my luck. 

Dean was quite for a moment before he nodded, not once taking his eye off Castiel. “I’ll keep you both safe, don't worry” he said quietly. “I know you will” Sam said softly as he completed the final part of the spell. The last thing he felt was Dean lowering him to the ground next to Cas and then everything went black. 

When Sam woke up he was in the bunker. The bunkers kitchen to be specific. “so Castiel is dreaming of our kitchen… interesting” he thought to himself. 

He moved out of the kitchen and into the living room where was he saw surprised him, even though it really wasn’t all that surprising. Cas and Dean where sitting on the couch with their limbs entangled and their tongues down each others throats. 

Sam’s eyes widened, he wasn’t exactly sure what he should do now but he knew that he had to talk to Castiel as soon as he could. He shuffled awkwardly for a few seconds and then coughed.

Cas and Dean broke apart and looked over at him. 

“What the hell Sammy?!” yelled Dean, looking slightly pissed off, “cockblock much man”

Cas scowled and hit him lightly “I’m sorry Sam” he said, only looking mildly apologetic. “We thought you had already fallen asleep.”

Sam needed to talk to Cas alone, but he knew that if he asked then the Djinn Dean would probably argue against him and that would ruin everything. So he decided to just bide his time and wait for the best opportunity. It was in the nature of a Djinn to do anything to keep it's victims stuck within their own minds so Sam knew he had to be very careful as not not give himself away.

So Sam shrugged at Castiel. “I thought I would watch a movie with you guys if thats okay with you?” he asked.

Cas smiled politely, “Of course it is Sam. Please sit down.” He gestured to the couch opposite him and Dean. Dean grumbled a little bit, clearly preferring to return to his make out session, but once Sam sat down, the three men turned their attention to the TV. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Cas shuffle closer to Dean as Dean draped his arm over the angels shoulders. They smiled at each other before sharing a chaste kiss and, holding each others hands, they turned back to the movie. 

Sam’s heart broke a little bit more with each small loving interaction. Knowing that this was what Castiel desired more than anything. He was beginning to dread telling him that it wasn’t real. Castiel deserved this. He was clearly happy here with Dean and Sam hated himself because he was going to be the one to take it all away from him. 

Sam ended up paying more attention to the two lovers than he did the movie. Their touches were subtle, like they didn't want Sam to notice, he probably wouldn't have if he hadn't been watching them so intently. 

They spent the whole duration of the movie wrapped up in each other. Cas had his head resting in the crook of Dean’s neck, while Dean rested his chin atop of Cas’ head, absentmindedly stroking the smaller mans dark hair with the hand that wasn’t curled around that same mans fingers. They both had a soft, heartwarming smile plastered on their faces.

Occasionally one would whisper something in the others ear and they would smile even wider and share a small kiss. Sam lost count of how many times he saw the words ‘I love you’ form on the lips of the two men. 

Sam thought intently about how this was Castiel’s greatest desire. If he was being honest it probably shouldn't have shocked him the way it did. There were a lot of clues that would have pointed to this if he'd actually picked up on them. And then Sam thought about the real Dean wait back home. How would he react to all this? What would he think? Sam thought that perhaps he wouldn't mind all that much, perhaps he even felt the same way. After all, in the weeks it look them to find Castiel after the Djinn had taken him, Sam had never seen Dean so flustered and agitated. He had been so worried. He had barely slept, saying that he just didn't have time for that if Cas was still in danger. And when they had finally found the angel strung up in that warehouse, Dean had looked so relieved. In fact, the more Sam thought about it, it more likely it seemed. 

Sam decided that perhaps this whole Djinn mess might be a blessing in disguise. He thought that perhaps this could be the thing that finally allowed the two men to sort out their feelings for each other.


	2. Destroying The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam does what he has to do.

After hours of observing the lovers heartfelt gestures, the movie finished. Sam wasn’t sure what we to happen next, but luckily Dean just got up and out on another movie so Sam avoided any awkwardness. About three quarters of the way into the movie, Sam realised that he'd already been in this Djinn world for about four and a half hours. He didn't have long. He had to do something now. “Dean could you go grab us some beers?” he asked. Desperately trying to get fake Dean out of the room without arousing suspicion. Dean playfully sighed and rolled his eye as he got up. “Make us popcorn or something too?” Sam called out as the Djinn version of his brother walked to the kitchen.  
As soon as he was out of sight Sam turned to Cas. “Cas, I really need to tell you something” He said desperately.  
Cas looked suddenly anxious. “Whats wrong Sam?” He asked.  
Sam took a deep breath and looked at the floor. “There's not really a way that I can phrase this delicately”  
“Then don’t” Cas said bluntly. Subtlety was never his strong suit.  
Sam ran the palm of his hand over his face nervously. “This isn't real” he said as he finally met Castiel’s eyes. “Cas, you've been missing for weeks now” he continued sadly “and Dean and I just found you. The real Dean. You were taken by a Djinn. This is just a fantasy. I’m sorry Castiel but it’s not real.”  
Cas was silent for a moment and Sam almost thought he wasn’t going to respond. Then he looked down at his hand sitting in his lap and smiled softly. He returned his gaze to Sam's, ‘I know” he said.  
“What!?” Sam exclaimed, he was incredibly shocked at this revelation. “What do you mean you know?”  
Cas rung his hands together as if he just didn't know where to put them. “When Dean told me he loved me I knew something was wrong. Dean doesn't say that. Not even to you. He always says its too ‘chick flick’” and despite the seriousness of the situation, Sam couldn't help but chuckle at Castiel’s use of air quotation marks.  
Cas continued explaining “As he continued to express his emotion I could not bring myself to believe the things he was saying. It was just too unlike the Dean I had come to know. And when we finally engaged in a sexual relationship….” Sam grimaced, that was more than he felt he needed to know “…I knew it couldn't possibly be real. Dean is quite obviously straight and uninterested in me or my vessel.”  
“Cas…” Sam said softly, he knew that his friend needed comfort but he didn't know how to offer it.  
“I could never pinpoint why it was wrong, but I guess a Djinn makes a lot of sense” Cas said as he avoided eye contact with the other man. At this point fake Dean had still not returned but Sam knew he probably wouldn't be too much longer.  
“So it was just the way this version of Dean acted that tipped you off?” Sam asked, trying to fully understand the situation. Djinn’s were usually very good at masking their fantasy’s as to never arouse suspicion.  
“Not exactly” Cas said slowly. “This Dean is in fact very much like the Dean we know, practically exactly the same, the only unrealistic feature is the fact that he is in love with me.”  
And with every word Sam could see Castiel’s heart breaking more and more. So Sam offered the only thing he thought could possibly be of comfort.  
“I came to get you Cas” Sam said “Come with me, I’ll take you back to the real Dean.”  
At this, Castiel’s head finally shot up, and their eyes met. His blue eyes were brimming with unshed tears. “No!” he cried out as he jumped up from the couch. Sam’s eyes grew wide in surprise, that was not the reaction he had been anticipating.  
“I don't want to go back. Sam please” he begged “Sam I can’t go back to a world where Dean doesn't love me, not now that I know what its like to have him. I have wanted him for so long, I tried to deny the feelings but being here I have stopped holding back and I have fallen for him even more. Please Sam, I couldn’t bare to live if I didn’t have this.”  
At the noise Castiel was making, Djinn Dean had come running back into the room and Cas immediately ran to him and threw his arms around the hunters neck. “What’s going on?” fake Dean demanded? Neither men responded.  
Sam looked at the two men and remembered what it was like to live without Jess in those first few months after she had died. But at least she had died, and although he felt bad for thinking that, he was glad that he didn't have to see her every day and know that she didn't love him. He didn't want that for his friend but he needed to take Cas home. He glanced at the clock, there was only about 10 minutes before his 5 hours were up and he had to return home. “Cas I am so sorry, but I have to take you home” he said.  
“Please Sam, this is my home. With Dean, I know its just a dream but it’s so much better than anything I have back there” Cas really was crying now, tears ran down his cheeks. Djinn Dean finally spoke again.  
“Take him where?” he asked Sam, his eye darting back and forth between the angel and the hunter. “He is home. You know that Sam. He belongs here with us. With me.” Castiel was sobbing and Sam knew how much it must have hurt know that the Dean he was clinging to, the Dean that was actually fighting for him, more than his real brother ever had, was all fake.  
Sam checked the clock again. 5 minutes.  
Sam reached forward and grabbed Castiel’s hands, pulling him away from Dean. He struggled but it was no use against Sam who was bigger than him in every way possible. “no!!” he cried out, still sobbing as he tried to get back to the comfort of his lovers arms. “Dean!!” he yelled. Djinn Dean was trying to pull Cas away from Sam but Sam held him just out of reach. His heart was breaking at the look of sheer desperation on Castiel’s face as he tried to get back to the other man. Sam checked the clock. 

10 seconds…

Castiel made a feeble attempt to push Sam away. 

8 seconds…

7 seconds… 

6 seconds..

Cas clenched his fists and hit them against Sam's chest.

4 seconds…

3 seconds…

And with that Cas gave up. He collapsed onto Sam shoulder.

2 seconds…

“Dean” he whispered. Still sobbing. 

1 second…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently time runs faster in this universe....oops
> 
> I already have this whole story done so hopefully I can get it up really really quickly for all you guys.


	3. When You Wake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean is a dick and Sam is upset with him.

Sam woke up with a start.  
“Sammy” cried Dean as he ran to his side. “are you okay? Did it work? Did you get him?”  
Before Sam could answer, Cas groaned and slowly woke up. Sam and Dean slowly helped him to his feet.  
“What the hell Cas?” Dean shouted at the angel as soon as it was clear that he was okay. “How could you let a Djinn get the jump on you? You're a fucking angel! What good is all that fucking power if you end up getting taken by some tiny little monster who we all know is no match for you! What the fuck is wrong with you? You need to lift you're fucking game…”  
“Dean stop it!” Sam demanded. He could see the hurt look on Castiel’s face. Not 5 minutes ago he was in his best dream and there was a Dean who loved him fighting to stay with him. And now Dean, the real Dean, was just yelling at him. Swearing at him. Telling him that he’s not good enough. Before anyone could say anything else they heard a noise. The Djinn had returned. The creature stopped when it realised that was happening and then, surprisingly, instead of running away, it smirked.  
“I know you two” it claimed. “you were the ones in his dream” it motioned towards Castiel. Then it looked towards Dean. “and you” it began smugly and Sam saw the sudden look of terror on Castiel’s face. “you were his…” but the creature never got to finish its sentence.  
Castiel appeared behind the monster and with a flash of white light the Djinn was dust. Castiel’s eyes never left he spot where the Djinn has been.  
“SEE,” yelled Dean after he got over his initial surprise, “why couldn’t you have done that in the first place, would have saved us all the time it took to find you.”  
“We should leave now” Castiel stated and then he turned and walked out.  
Sam turned to Dean. “what the fuck was that about? Why did you yell at him?” he exclaimed, clearly rather angered by his brother?  
Dean was furious too “What? I was telling the truth.”  
Sam sighed and told Dean to gather their things and that he and Cas would be waiting in the Impala.  
Dean just grunted in reply as Sam left. 

Sam found Cas leaning against the Impala. “Do not tell Dean” Cas said, still refusing to meet Sam’s eyes “please.”  
Sam sighed again “okay Cas” he said softly. “I wont if you don't want me to”  
“Thank you Sam” Cas said as he finally looked up. “It would make him uncomfortable and quite possibly angry and I have no wish to make Dean feel that.”  
Just as Sam went to reply. Dean arrived. He threw the duffle into the back of his baby. As he walked around to the drivers seat he called out to Cas, “Get in the Car, you're not allowed to Mojo off anywhere”. Castiel obeyed without speaking and Dean noticed Cas’ refusal to meet his gaze. But he resolved to just ask Sam about it later.  
Once they were all seated in the Impala, Sam finally spoke up. “Cas I think you should stay in the Bunker with us for a while, just so we can make sure that you're okay.” Sam was slightly worried that being in the bunker might remind Cas of his dream but he was even more worried that his friend would do something stupid so he wanted him to stay close.  
“I am an angel of the Lord Sam” Cas said tiredly, “I am perfectly fine”  
“Sam’s right, Cas” Dean inputted “Just humour us.” He said as Castiel scowled.  
Cas grumbled a little bit but he didn't protest any further. It seemed he could never deny Dean anything.

They pulled up into the bunker and all piled out of the car. “Cas, there are a few spare rooms in this place, there the one opposite Dean room or one down the hallway on the other side, you can go rest if you'd like” Sam suggested.  
“I am an angel Sam. I do not sleep” Sam rolled his eyes, he already knew that. “But I will take the room down the hall” Cas then proceeded towards the room without another word. It probably shouldn't have surprised Sam that he didn't want the room near Dean, but it did.

As soon as Cas was out of earshot Dean grabbed Sam’s wrist. “What was he dreaming about?!” he hissed? “Why the fuck is he acting so hostile?”  
Sam pulled away. “Dean it was nothing. It was practically the same as the life he has here, the three of us lived in the bunker and he hunted. That was it.” Sam felt slightly bad for the lying about the dream, he so desperately wanted to tell Dean the truth. But Cas had asked him not to, so he didn’t. But then again, with the way Dean was acting really didn’t feel all that bad. He was really upset that his brother had reacted that way.  
“Hmph” Dean grunted “then what the fuck is he acting like a little bitch for?” he snapped.  
“Dean!” Sam snapped back, he was growing increasingly more frustrated with his brother. “Thats probably got something to do with you yelling at him. He was there for weeks, cut him some slack and don't be a dick about it.”  
Dean scowled. “Whatever” he spat out bitterly “I’m going to go and have a drink, don't wait up,” and with that he left the bunker and drove to the nearest bar.  
Sam watched as his brother stormed out. He was disgusted with the way that Dean had behaved. He was beginning to rethink his earlier conclusion of Dean possibly returning Castiel’s feelings and he was so very very glad that he had never voiced those thoughts to Cas.


	4. I Wish it Was a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Dean continues to hurt Cas without even realising it.

Dean was so mad. How could Cas allow himself to be put in that kind of danger? Didn’t he have any sense of self preservation? He and Sam had tried so hard to find Castiel, they hadn't meant for it to take so long. Dean had been so worried that Cas was hurting. They only other person he'd ever worried about that much was Sammy. But he'd been so scared that he would never again lay eyes on the angel. His angel. He frowned and shook his head. Cas wasn’t his. No matter how much he wanted it. That was one of the other things he'd realised while they'd been looking for Cas, that he really did need Cas and maybe even more than that. Dean thought it was quite possible that he actually loved the blue eyed angel. But that didn't matter. Because as Cas has so kindly pointed out twice tonight, he is an angel of the fucking lord and there is no way that he would ever be interested in Dean Winchester.  
Dean realised that he'd probably been a bit of an asshole yelling at Cas like that, but he just wanted the guy to take care of himself and not get hurt. Because one day Dean might not be there to save him. He'd spent weeks worrying about Cas and it was almost as though the second he had realised Cas was okay and that there was no need to be worried, the floodgates burst and he realised how angry he was that Cas was in that situation in the first place. Yelling probably hadn't been the best course of action though.  
Dean scowled as be parked the Impala outside the bar, he desperately needed to get some alcohol into his system. And quite possibly find some chick to fuck out his frustration with. He walked into the bar and immediately spotted a hot young blonde woman sitting alone at the bar. So obviously he took the seat next to her. He tried not to be too obvious in his attempts to pick her up. So he just offered her a polite smile and order his drink. After a couple minutes she started a conversation with him so he was happy, he didn't have to look so blatantly desperate. The two of them talked for about half an hour, her name was Dani. Or Daphne. Maybe it was Daisy. He couldn't remember and he really didn't care.  
“So I was thinking” She said after a while. “we should get out of here”.  
Dean inwardly chuckles at the typical sex eluding line before replying, “Your place or mine?”.

Cas had been sitting in that room for what felt like days, he was unused to having to stay put. Although, in reality it had only been just over one hour. So he decided to finally leave. Maybe to see what Sam was doing, and be certain to avoid Dean at all costs. He had heard them talking before, he couldn't really hear exactly what was being said but he was pretty certain it had been about him. He sighed. He just couldn't face Dean yet. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to. It was just too painful to look into his beautiful green eyes and no longer see love reflected back to him.  
He was in the kitchen now when he heard voices. Not a voice he recognised. A female voice. It was just a whisper. “I’ve always wondered who lived here” said the mystery woman.  
“Well, now you know” replied a voice that was quite obviously Dean. “me and my brother” Dean finished saying and Cas’ heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach. Partly because Dean was very clearly about to make love to someone else, partly because that person was a woman and that just confirmed his absolute heterosexuality, and partly because he didn't even classify Cas as important enough to mention in the list of people who lived here. The voices continued.  
“We'll just have to avoid my brother,” Dean told the woman “come with me,” he said and Cas heard them move, presumably to Deans bedroom. Cas waited a bit to give them time to actually get into the room so he could avoid seeing them sucking face. But evidently it wasn’t enough time. As Cas entered the hallway to make for his own room, he saw Dean holding up a petite blonde. She had her lips attached to his neck and her blouse was already unbuttoned. Dean was slowly backing her into his room, but just before he closed the door her looked up and his eyes locked with Castiel’s and Cas’ breathe hitched remembering how dream Dean used to look at him that way. Tears threatened to spill as Dean closed the door and continued attending to the young woman in his arms. 

Cas made his way back to his own room. He was exhausted. More emotionally than physically, but he didn't really want to go to bed. For the last few weeks he'd been going to bed with Dean by his side and in his arms and without that he just felt empty. But slowly fatigue consumed him and despite having earlier telling Sam that angels don't sleep, that is exactly what he did.


	5. Why Dreams are Better than Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a sexy dream and is rather disappointed when he wakes up.

Dean was kissing up Castiel’s neck. Sucking at his collarbone creating a perfect red mark that symbolised a claim “mine” it whispered as Dean continued down his body, stopping only once at his nipples, giving them a quick flick with his tongue that caused Castiel’s breath to quicken, before once again continuing his downward journey.  
He kissed at Cas’ inner thigh and Cas started to pant, want so desperately to be touched. “Dean please” he whispered breathlessly.  
“So perfect” was the murmured reply. Before he felt Dean’s mouth on his balls, slowly working up his shaft. He looked up at Cas through his eyelashes with lust blown green eyes before kissing the head of his cock and then without warning taking Cas’ whole length into his mouth all at once. 

Cas woke up gasping. Hot and flustered. With a slowly softening penis and a wet patch on the pyjama pants Sam had lent him.  
He sat up in the bed and groaned as he buried his face in his hands. He didn't want to have dreams like that about Dean. Actually he didn't want to dream about Dean at all. Because they weren’t actually dreams. They were memories. Beautiful memories in which Dean had loved him. Perhaps not the real Dean but that hadn’t made the moments feel any less real. But no. The real Dean spent the night enjoying to company of that blonde woman. Castiel sighed and wiped away the tear that had somehow escaped from his eye.  
He got up. He cleaned up the mess he had made in his pants, put him trench coat on and went out to face the day. 

The first thing he saw when he entered the kitchen was Sam and Dean both having there morning coffee. It reminded Castiel of his dream world and he had an intense urge to go and kiss Dean good morning like he had every morning for the last few week. He suppressed the urge and with a heavy heart he sat down at the kitchen bench. Suddenly he heard the voice of a woman calling out for Dean. So she hadn't left yet, he thought bitterly.  
“In here baby” Dean called out in reply. Sam raised his eyebrow and shook his head. Giving what Dean would have described as a “bitchface”.  
The woman ran in, her make up was smudged and she was carrying her shoes. “I’ve gotta run” she said, “I oversleep, my sisters expecting me soon.”  
Dean chuckled. “Wore you out did I? He said with a smirk. Cas hadn’t thought his heart could brake any further but it did with that comment.  
The woman blushed she leaned in and gave Dean a quick kiss. Cas had to close his eyes. Sam, of course, noticed. “I left my number on you bedside table” she replied.  
“I’ll call you then” said Dean with his most charming smile. The one that always made Cas’ heart beat faster against his ribs.  
“Good, I’ll see you some other time” The woman said, although everyone in the room knew that probably not going to happen. She awkwardly waved at the three men and then left.  
“Really Dean?” Sam said accusingly as soon as he heard the door close. Dean flinched. He'd know Sam would be pissed, he hadn't meant for the others to see her. But he just shrugged at Sam and sipped his coffee.  
He looked over at Cas, who still wouldn't meet his eyes. Dean knew that Cas had caught him red handed last night and he could have sworn he saw something akin to pain written in his gaze, but he must have been mistaken.  
Cas looked different. Messier. His hair was not as kept as it usually was, like he had slept and not bothered to fix it. Sam was looking at Cas too, Dean thought they must be thinking the same thing.  
The silence was awkward but he couldn't think of a way to fill it. Until Cas spoke. “I should go now” he said. Sam and Dean exchanged a glance and frowned. “You wanted me to stay so you could see that I was okay and now you have seen so I should leave.”  
Sam sighed. “Cas you’re not okay,” he said “you slept last night didn't you?” he asked.  
Cas didn’t reply. “Angels don't sleep unless they need serious recharging which means that you're most certainly not okay. So I would like you to stay, please” Sam continued. Cas didn't want to stay.  
“It’s not like you have anything better to do anyway” Dean said. And for the first time since they had gotten him back Cas met his gaze. With what could only be described as a death stare. In hindsight that probably wasn’t the best thing to say, Dean scolded himself, but he’d said it so he was just going to run with it. “What do you do when you're not with us anyway?” he asked?  
Cas was silent for a few seconds before murmuring his reply. “I wait for you to call for me,” he said softly. Deans eyes widened. That was definitely not the response he'd been expecting.  
Sam smiled sadly and put his hand on Cas’ shoulder. “How about you just stay here for a while and help us with research and stuff?” Sam suggested “you know more than either of us could ever hope to.” Dean nodded in agreement. And Cas grudgingly agreed.  
So Cas stayed in the bunker. He didn't bring up leaving again. Mostly because he knew that the brothers would just make up another reason for him to stay. Although he still really really didn't want to. He'd been with them for almost 2 weeks. And in that time he had caught Dean sneaking in at ridiculous times, reeking of perfume and sweat on about 5 occasions. Dean had only brought home one other woman. Cas hadn't seen her. But he had definitely heard her. Even though his bedroom was down the other end of the hall he had still heard her screaming out Deans name along with the some of Dean own arrangement of sexual noises. And although Cas never went to sleep again for fear of his haunting memories returning, he cried into his pillow that night.


	6. When Dreams Break your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dean brings a girl home and Cas looses it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your heart will break for Cas. I know mine did.

Two weeks with Cas in the bunker was a rather large struggle for Dean. He was in a perpetual state of never ending sexual frustration thanks to that beautiful creature, with his brilliantly blue eyes and his incredibly hot, messy sex hair.  
Dean found himself sneaking in and out increasingly more often to fuck random women while picturing those features on them. He knows that Cas and Sam have seen him sneaking around and Sam always gives him a bitchface along with his morning coffee the next day. But Dean can’t bring himself to care.  
Cas still wouldn’t make eye contact. He does with Sam and it’s driving Dean crazy because he must have done something to upset Cas but he can’t think of what. Surely he wasn’t still upset with Dean for yelling at him? They'd had fights more intense than that before and Cas always got over it pretty quickly.  
And Dean hates seeing Cas like this. He misses the way Cas would stare at him when he was struggling to understand one of Deans pop culture references and he missed having to tell him to step back and remind him of personal space even though he doesn't really care that much. He feels like Cas is there, but not really there. And it’s killing him. He needs to get so drunk.  
So he loads himself into his baby and once again, heads off to the local bar. Tonight the alcohol is his major focus rather than the women, granted getting a little action on the side would just be a bonus. After downing a couple whisky shots he starts talking to this woman who kinda reminds him a little of Cas. Which is probably a bad thing but he likes her. Her name is Tiffany. It make him feel slightly better that he's actually able to remember her name unlike literally every other girl he's met in the last few weeks. They talked for a while and Dean is actually pleasantly surprised by how much he's enjoying her company.  
Despite the fact that they've been talking for hours on end, theres this one guy at the bar who keeps trying to buy her a drink. She been politely declining but he seems to not get the message. And Deans getting pretty pissed off. “I’m pretty sure theres some kind of guy code that says you shouldn’t do that,” he thinks to himself. But he decides to use this guy to his advantage, so after declining his offer for about the fifth time Dean chuckles at her irritation and says to her “How about we go back to my place and get away from this asshole?”.  
She grins “I think that is a wonderful idea” she replies. He leads her outside and introduces her to his baby. She sits in the front seat and they drive back to the bunker.

He leads her into the house and the first thing either of them see is Sam and Cas sitting on the couch. Tiffany laughs and turns to Dean, “You didn't tell me you had roommates!” she exclaims and then, in typically Tiffany fashion, proceeds to introduce herself to Sam and Cas.  
“Hello, My names Tiffany Crake. Its nice to meet you” She says and extends her hand to Sam, who politely shakes it.  
“Hey Tiffany, Its nice to meet you too, I’m Sam, Deans brother. And this is our friend Castiel” Sam says gesturing to Cas. Tiffany reaches to shake his hand as well.  
“Hello Miss. Crake” he says and offers her a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.  
At this point Dean interjects, rolling his eyes. “Okay enough with the pleasantries” he says, clapping his hands together. “Tiff and I are going to move this to the bedroom if you don't mind, right baby?” he winks at Tiffany and she giggles and reaches for his hand as he leads her to his room.

Castiel can’t move. He closes his eyes. He never ever ever wanted to have to speak with the women that Dean slept with. Sam noticed. “Cas?” he asked quietly.  
Cas opened his eyes and they met Sam’s hazel gaze and Sam could see the tears that rimmed his eyes. “oh Cas” Sam said sadly. “I’m so sorry…”  
Cas cut him off “You have nothing to apologise for Sam. I was aware this would occur. It was the reason I asked you to let me stay.”  
“I know it hurts but you know I couldn't leave you there. That Djinn would have killed you.” Sam tried to rationalise.  
Castiel looks down at the floor again as a single tear streamed down his cheek . “Sometimes I think that would have been better”.

Sam stared at his heartbroken friend. He knew that the last few week had been hard for Cas but never once had he considered that it had gotten this bad. That Cas actually would have rather died. Suddenly Sam was so angry with his brother. How could he treat Cas this way? Sam understood that Dean didn’t know what Cas had dreamed of while he was with the Djinn, but there was no way he hadn’t noticed the way Cas avoided eye contact and only spoke to him if it was absolutely necessary. And if he had noticed these things he hadn’t tried to find out what was wrong. He had made no attempt to see if Cas was okay.  
Cas finally spoke “Sam, I know you wanted me to stay because you wanted to make sure I was okay, But as you can see I am quite obviously not,” he told the younger Winchester. “and I don’t think I will be for a while. Especially not if I have to see Dean everyday. So in the morning when Dean’s lady friend has left, I will say goodbye and then I am leaving.” Castiel’s tone of voice told Sam that this was not up for discussion.  
“Are you sure Cas?” he asked.  
“Yes, Sam. I have stayed far too long. Dean evidently does not want me in his life, just as I expected. Therefore I find it in my best interest to leave.” He could already feel Cas detaching himself from the brothers and he got the distinct feeling that if he let Cas leave, they would never see him again.  
But before Sam had a chance to try and reason with the angel, he had already excused himself and quickly walked back to his room, although not before Sam saw him flinch at the sounds coming from Dean bedroom.  
Sam had to do something. No actually, he had to get Dean to do something. Dean was the reason Cas wanted to leave, so Dean had to be the one to make him stay. 

Sam stormed into Deans bedroom. Dean and the woman he was with —Tiffany was it?— Were both naked apart from their underwear? Dean was grinding down on her while he sucked at her neck and she moaned loudly. And although he internally cringed at the sight he found, he knew he was doing the right thing.  
“Dean I need to talk to you” he stated simply, however it was clear that this was a demand rather than a question.  
Dean stopped and looked up, clearly incredibly pissed off. Tiffany screamed and went to cover her breasts. Sam couldn't help but role his eyes at her reaction. “I’m a little busy right now Sammy, we’ll talk later.” He growled.  
“No Dean. Now” Sam said, refusing to give up.  
“Sam get the fuck out!” Dean hissed, getting more agitated with his brother by the second.  
“We need to talk about Cas.” Sam said, being very careful to put stress on the angels name in a desperate attempt to convey the urgency of the situation.  
“Cas will be here in the morning. We’ll talk about it then.” Dean really just wanted to get back to banging this smoking hot girl next to him.  
“No Dean. That’s just it. He won’t be.” Sam said forcefully. Dean gave him a confused look. “He’s getting ready to leave now”  
He had finally gotten Deans attention. “Wait what? He’s leaving?”  
“Yes, Dean” Sam said with a sigh. “And I don’t think he’s going to be coming back this time.”  
Dean suddenly looked absolutely distraught. He got up and grabbed his almost lovers clothes and handed them to her. “I’m sorry” he said to her. “You need to leave.”  
“What? Why?” she demanded. Sam thought she clearly wasn’t very bright if she hadn’t understood why.  
“Because family comes first,” was Dean simple response. “Always.”  
This seemed to be enough for her because her face softened as she got dressed and quietly left.  
Dean pulled his jeans back on over his bow legs.  
He looked up at his younger brother with a look of angst, sadness, and sheer desperation. “Sam what’s going on?”

Cas couldn't just leave. What did Sam mean when he said Cas’ not coming back? Cas couldn’t. Dean needed him, didn’t he know that?  
“He told me just a minute ago that he wanted to leave.” Sam said, “I think he was going to wait until morning so he could say goodbye to you. But the way he said it, just sounded so…final”  
Dean started to move towards the door, “We just need to talk to him and sort all this out.” He said with fierce determination. Dean knew that he would do anything to get Cas to stay. Anything Cas wanted, Dean would give it to him if it meant he would stay here.  
Sam moved in front of his brother and blocked his way though the door. “Dean theres something you need to know first,” he said, softly and slowly. “about his time with the Djinn.”  
Dean stopped. Knowing that whatever his little brother had to say was very important. “What happened Sammy?” he asked warily.  
“Dean, I lied about what his fantasy was…” Sam started, “well, sort of… he did live in the bunker with us and we all did still hunt but…” Sam hesitated.  
“But what Sam? Just tell me “ Dean demanded, surely it can’t have been that bad.  
“…He was in a relationship with you.” 

oh.

Dean was shocked. Cas’ most desired life was a life where he was in a relationship with Dean? Was it possible that Castiel returned his feelings? He sensed there was more to it than that so he asked Sam, “Why did you lie about that? It’s not a big deal?”  
Sam was a little bit surprised by his brothers maturity, “He asked me not to. He seemed to think it would make you angry and uncomfortable.” Dean frowned at that. Hell, he was ecstatic at the possibility of being in a relationship with the angel. “There was more though…” Sam started. Dean waited and listened intently. “When I was with the two of you, we were all watching a movie and the two of you, you were just so in love. And you were both so happy. I mean, I know it wasn’t really you but you really were happy. And god Cas was too.” Dean couldn’t help but smile. “And then I had to tell him that it wasn’t real.” Sam’s face dropped and Dean could tell he felt really guilty.  
“Hey don’t beat yourself up about it” Dean tried to comfort. “you saved him.”  
Sam smiled sadly, “When I told him that it was just a dream, do you know what he said?” Sam asked. Dean just remained silent and waited for the taller man to continue. “He said he already knew.” Dean frowned, feeling very confused. “He said he knew that there was no way the real Dean Winchester could ever love him.” Dean opened his mouth to respond, to say that wasn’t true, that he did love Castiel, but Sam just continued to speak, “When I told him I was going to take him home he ran from me, he ran to you —the fake you— and he begged me not to, he cried and he told me he couldn’t live in a world where you didn’t return his feelings.” Dean felt awful. Nothing that Cas thought was true, Dean did love him. He knew that. And now he felt terrible for everything. Suddenly Cas avoiding him was starting to make a lot more sense.  
“I struggled with Cas and eventually had to forcibly make him come home. And then the second he regains consciousness, you yelled at him, and then when we got home you went and picked up the first women that would willingly let you between her legs.” Dean could tell Sam was upset with Deans actions and he’ll admit he’d been a bit of a dick, but how was he supposed to have known.  
Sam just continued to talk before he let Dean input. “I think tonight was the last straw, having to actually speak to the woman you were about the sleep with. Dean you have to do something.”  
Dean realised that it would have to he him, but he just didn’t know what he could do to make it better. “What though Sammy?” he asked quietly, and Sam couldn’t help but notice how small and vulnerable, almost childlike, his older brother looked.  
“Dean you need to talk to him. Tell him that you know. Tell him that you're not mad and that you want him to stay.” Sam suggested.  
Dean removed his gaze from Sam’s and suddenly looked overly nervous. Sam frowned. “What if…” Dean began “the thing that Cas desired more than anything… is also what I want?” he asked his brother.  
Sam chuckled. “Then you definitely have to tell him. Now”  
There were a thousand thoughts running through the hunters head. Was this real? Could he finally be with Cas? Could he finally hold him and whisper him sweet I love you’s every chance he got? Though all of these questions, the most prominent one was, “What if Cas doesn’t want me anymore?” he wondered aloud.  
Sam sighed as we respond. “Dean, not 15 minutes ago, I saw Castiel cry and tell me he wished I’d let him die…” Dean looked at his brother, eyes wide with horror. “…because he’d rather that than not be with you. I don’t think rejection is something you really need to worry about.”  
“Okay” Dean said. “okay. I am going to fix this” Sam didn’t think he’d ever seen his brother so nervous in all of his life.  
He pushed passed Sam and began walking towards Castiel’s room, still muttering encouragement's to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes. I proofread 50 billions times but it wasn't beta read and spellings never been my strong suit. xxx


	7. A Dream Come True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean finally talks to Cas.

Castiel sat down on his bed. He wiped away the tears that had formed. He knew that if he left, it would be indefinitely. He knew that if he left, he would essentially be leaving his only two friends behind. In all of his long existence, nothing had ever felt as much like home as the Winchesters. It hurt knowing that he would never see them again. But nowhere near as much as it had hurt everyday for the last 2 weeks, seeing Dean but not having him.  
And as much as it pained him to say so, he knew he was making the right decision.  
He stared to wonder what the best way to say goodbye was. He thought, maybe he would just write them a letter each and then vanish, it would be easier that way, he wouldn’t have to answer unwanted questions.  
He sighed, feeling exhausted and defeated. There were a fresh set of tears threatening to spill from his blue eyes.  
Suddenly there was a knock on his door. He concluded that it had to be Sam as Dean was… occupied. “Come in.” he said simply.  
It wasn’t Sam though. It was Dean. He stood at Castiel’s door nervously, wearing his jeans and only his jeans. Cas let his eyes rake over Dean bare torso, remembering what it had been like the have that gorgeous body pressed against his. His eyes gradually worked their way up to Dean’s face, but they never quite made it. He stopped and turned away when he saw a small red mark that had been sucked onto Dean’s neck.  
Cas looked at the floor. “Dean.” He said quietly, simply acknowledging the other mans presence. “Where is Ms. Crake?” he asked.  
Dean winced at the question, what made it worse was that Cas didn’t sound bitter. He sounded as though he was generally interested, as though it didn’t hurt him. Dean couldn’t help but feel a little bit sad at how good Cas hod gotten at hiding his pain.  
“I sent her home,” was Deans simple reply.  
Cas titled his head the way his always does when he’s confused, and Dean can’t help but inwardly smile at the adorableness of the action. “Why?” asked the angel.  
Dean took a deep breath, he was more nervous than he ever had been. “because Sam told me that you were planning on leaving.” He said.  
Cas finally looked up and met his eyes, they were filled with disbelief that Dean would choose him over a woman and Dean felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over him. He had never meant to make Cas think less of himself. Surely Cas understood that Dean couldn’t live without him? He would always be the most important person to Dean, apart from maybe his brother.  
“Oh…” Cas murmured, then he realised he was supposed to say something more. “Yes,. I was going to leave in the morning.”  
As much as Dean wanted to look away and avoid the vulnerability he knew his eyes would be showing, he forced himself to keep his gaze with the smaller man as he spoke. “I don’t want you to leave Cas.” He was Cas’ eyes widen at the honest admission. “Please stay.”  
Cas shook his head. “I do not think that would be wise Dean.”  
“Please Cas, I need you here.” Dean wasn’t going to let him go without a fight.  
Castiel sighed. “Dean, I am aware that I am a great hunting asset…” the angel began.  
Dean cut him of. “Cas I don’t give a fuck about you damn hunting ability or your knowledge of monsters!” He said forcefully. “I just…” I love you “…I just need you.” Dean knew he wasn’t saying the words that Cas needed to hear, but they just kept getting stuck in his throat. There was a reason Sam always said he was emotionally stunted. Moments like this made Dean rather uncomfortable. Usually he’d be able to ease the tension with a joke or something, but even he was aware that would be vastly inappropriate right now.  
“I’m sorry Dean,” was Castiel’s only response. He didn't sound sorry though. He sounded emotionless, like he had somehow detected himself from the entire situation.  
Dean knew at that moment that he was going to have to mention what happened with the Djinn. He’d wanted to avoid it because he knew that Cas would probably be embarrassed.  
“Cas… Sam told me what you were dreaming about when you were with the Djinn” He said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t be too upset.  
Cas’ blue eyes widened with a mixture of shock and horror. “oh…” Castiel just couldn’t believe that Dean knew. He couldn’t look at the hunter, he knew that if he looked up he would see repulsion in the taller mans eyes.  
“Cas, I don’t know why would thought I would be mad at you for that.” Cas’ head snapped up to look at Dean, his eyebrows furrowed with confusion. That was not the reaction he had been expecting from the green eyed man.  
There was silence for a few moments and Castiel realised he needed to speak. “I just thought…because you are not homosexual…”  
Dean cut him off. “Actually Cas..” Dean began, “I’m bisexual. I just never told anyone because Dad would have flipped his shit.” Dean shuddered, John’s blatant homophobia was perhaps the thing he’d hated the most about his father. He remembered once when he was younger and they'd had a hunt in this small town and John almost hadn’t taken the case because the victims were gay high school students. It had taken everything for Dean to convince his father that they still needed to kill the monster responsible regardless of who the victims were. Dean shook his head, he didn’t want to think about that now, he had more pressing matters at hand. He turned his attention back to Castiel.  
The angel was clearly very surprised at this revelation. In fact, it seemed he'd let Cas completely speechless. Dean took a step forward and reached out to entwine their fingers together.  
“I guess what I’m trying to say Cas…” Dean began slowly bringing his other hand up to cup Castiel’s cheek. “…is that, if I’f been taken by the Djinn, I think you would have found my dream to be the same as yours.”  
At Deans admission the tears that had been threatening to spill finally did. Dean moved his hand slightly as to wipe the tears away and pulled Cas into a tight hug. Cas revelled in the feeling of Dean’s strong arms wrapped around him. He rested his head in the crook of the taller mans neck.  
“Dean…” he whispered. Tears still fell down his cheeks.  
“Please stay Cas” Dean whispered back with sheer desperation. “Stay with me,” he just hoped that this was enough to make Cas stay. He felt his own tears fill his green eyes at the thought that it might not be, at the thought that Cas would still leave.  
Cas was silent for a few seconds and Dean was actually about to beg. “okay”.  
Dean smiled. He chuckled with relief and a single tear of absolute happiness ran down his face. Cas was going to stay. The moment was almost perfect. There was only one thing that could possibly make it any better. “Cas, would you like to be my boyfriend?’ He asked quietly. Dean felt strange saying the word ‘boyfriend’ but it was definitely something he could get used to.  
Cas pulled away from Dean, only slightly though, Dean arms around him would not allow for more than a few centimetres between them, and honestly, Castiel was perfectly fine with that.  
“I would like that very much Dean” He said with a smile.  
Suddenly Dean yawned. It was just past two o’clock in the morning at this point and although Dean desperately wanted to stay awake with his boyfriend —still sounded weird— he was exhausted. Cas laughed and led him to the bed. “Go to sleep Dean,” he said affectionately. “I’ll be here in the morning.”  
“Promise?” Dean asked and he pulled Cas into the bed along with him and drew the covers over them both.  
Dean lay his head on the angels chest and he smiled once again, as Castiel began to run his fingers through Deans short hair. “I promise.” He said and Dean could hear the smile in his voice too.  
Dean fell asleep quickly and Cas found himself slipping into unconsciousness. If he was being perfectly honest, he still hadn't quite recovered from his time with the Djinn. He should have rested more then he did but after that dream about Dean he had refused himself sleep, wishing to avoid further heart break. But with the real Dean safely tucked into his chest, he thought he could risk it and soon fell into a deep sleep.


	8. Better than the Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and finally some smut.

Dean woke first. He was lying atop the sleeping angel. He smiled. He was incredibly glad he hadn’t dreamt last night. Castiel looked beautiful when he slept. Well, Dean thought he looked beautiful all the time but he was never going to tell anyone that. If Sam ever heard him using that adjective he would never hear the end of it.  
Cas wiggled in his sleep and he scrunched his nose up a little bit. Dean thought it was all rather adorable, another adjective he would never speak aloud. Dean watched Cas sleep for a few more moments until he saw the angel moan and push his hips up ever so slightly. Since his body was still pressed so close to Dean’s, he couldn’t help but notice the way Cas was starting to become hard. Dean smirked, Cas must have been having one hell of a dream.  
Dean found himself kissing the neck of a still sleeping Castiel. Cas’ hips continued to roll forward and soon Dean joined him, feeling himself growing hard as well.  
“Dean…” Cas moaned his name, soft and low. And Dean glanced up to meet the now awake angel’s eyes.  
“Morning Cas” Dean grinned. “Having a good dream?”  
“Wasn’t really a dream.” Cas muttered in return. He looked a little displeased and Dean frowned, thinking he might have done something wrong.  
“What do you mean it wasn’t a dream?” he asked cautiously.  
Cas didn’t seem to want to reply. “Nothing, it doesn’t matter.” he insisted. He wasn’t meeting Dean’s eyes and then he realised.  
Cas only ever wouldn’t look at Dean when he was thinking about what happened with the Djinn. Cas was dreaming about his time with the Djinn version of Dean.  
“…a memory?” he asked Cas slowly.  
Castiel flinched at his question. “I’m sorry Dean” he said. He made to get up from the bed and Dean’s arms. “I should go.”  
“No!” Dean almost outright yelled. He wrapped himself around Cas even further in a desperate attempted to make the angel stay.  
Although Cas was an angel and could have very easily just pushed Dean off, he simply sighed and relaxed into Deans embrace a little bit. Dean could still feel his muscles riddled with tension.  
“Can you tell me about it?” Dean asked. “Your fantasy with the Djinn?”  
Cas didn’t look too pleased with that idea. “Must I?” he sighed.  
“Please Cas. It was your ideal world. Your perfect life.” Dean said. Cas still didn’t look fond of the suggestion. Dean sighed. He really really wanted to know. “Where you happy there Cas?” he asked.  
Cas was silent for a moment. “yes, I was…” he whispered. Dean’s heart hurt a little bit and the pain that was evident on Castiel’s face. He never wanted to see that. He wanted to make sure Cas was happy.  
Dean propped himself up on one elbow and moves his other hand so it was resting on Castiel’s cheek, willing Cas to look into his eyes. The angels blue eyes looked nervous, like he was dreading the conversation, which definitely reflected his actions. “If you were happy there, then I definitely need to know.” Dean insisted. “I need you to tell me all about it so I can make you happy again. For real this time.”  
Cas’ eye softened a little bit at that. He looked like he wasn’t sure what to say to that. He opened his mouth a little bit and Deans eyes dropped to the smaller man’s lips. He was hit with the realisation that they hadn’t even kissed yet. 10 minutes ago, he’d been grinding down on the angel and they hadn’t even kissed yet. Dean felt like an ass. Again.  
When he met Cas’ eyes again, it looked as though he was thinking the same thing.  
“I’d very much like to kiss you now Dean.” He said, looked up at Dean through his long eyelashes.  
“Stole the words right out of my mouth Cas” Dean grinned as he replied and lent in to finally kiss his angel. His angel. Dean was actually allowed to call him that now. With that thought he pressed forward a little more, making the kiss less than chaste. Cas moved his arms around Dean and pushed them closer together.  
Cas wasn’t as inexperienced as Dean had thought he would be. To be fair, he was as old as creation, and even if he’d only ever done anything practical in a Djinn induced dream, he obviously still knew the theory behind everything.  
Dean stopped thinking about all that as Cas opened his mouth and pushed his tongue into Dean’s. Dean thought it was only fair he return the favour. Soon they were heatedly exploring each others mouths and Dean did this special trick where he hooked his tongue around Castiel’s, the smaller man groaned as his hands began to wander up Dean’s back, he still wasn’t wearing a shirt and he decided that it was rather unfair that Cas still was.  
He slowly bit Cas’ lips and he pulled away from their kiss to slide the angel’s shirt over his head. He paused for a moment to take a look at the gorgeous man beneath him. Cas’ lips were red and swollen, glistening with spit. His hair was already total sex hair and they had barely even started. With that thought he jumped back into action. He started by sucking his way down Castiel’s neck and the angel’s hands went to the back of his jean softly holding him in place. He ground his hips down and they both moaned at the slight friction. Even though the sensation was dimmed by their pants, Dean still thought Cas felt amazing pinned under him.  
He sucked a purple bruise onto Castiel’s neck as he undid the angels pants. Once he was satisfied with his claim on his lovers neck, he worked Cas’ pants and underwear off. He sat back on his heals look at the sight before him. If he had thought Castiel was beautiful before, he was absolutely fucking stunning now.  
“Dean…” Cas moaned.  
“Yeah baby?” Dean answered, surprised at the huskiness of his own voice.  
“Dean please…” Cas whined as Dean pressing small kisses down his abdomen.  
“Gotta tell me what you want baby.” Dean commanded. Suddenly he was desperate to hear an array of dirty things come out of the angel’s innocent little mouth.  
“I want you to touch me Dean” Cas panted. He voice was low and gravelly.  
Dean sucked another small bruise onto Cas’ inner thigh. “I am touching you Cas.” Dean smirked.  
“Dean” Cas practically growled. Dean chuckled. He knew that if he waited any longer he’d be denying them both.  
He licked up the underside of Castiel’s cock and the angel moaned. Dean had one hand on Cas’ hips, and the other on his cock. Holding him in place while he sucked at the head. He flicked his tongue over the slit and Cas’ hands flew to Dean’s head.  
“Dean” he groaned. He would have been thrusting up, fucking into Dean’s mouth, if Dean didn’t have him held exactly where he wanted him.  
Dean didn’t have a lot of experience here, but he tried to recall some of the best blow jobs he had received in an attempt to make his good for Cas. He really wanted to make Cas feel good. He took Cas further into his mouth. He couldn’t take it all the way which disappointed him a little bit, but he could work on that. He moved one of his hands down to cradle Cas’ balls as he bopped his head up and down a little bit and hollowed out his cheeks. Despite his overall lack of experience, Cas’ continual chanting of his name indicated that he wasn't all that bad. He flicked his tongue over the slit of Cas’ spit-slicked shaft as he pulled off. Cas whined at the loss but Dean didn’t want this to be over yet.  
“Soon baby.” Dean whispered in response. “Tell me what you want.”  
“I need you Dean.” Cas moaned. Dean was suddenly largely aware of his own aching cock still tucked away in his jeans. He unbuttoned them and hissed at the release of pressure. After he pulled off his jeans, he grabbed Cas and once again kissed his heatedly. He kissed his way along Cas’ jaw and to his ear. He nipped at the bottom and whispered.  
“Do you want me to fuck you Cas?” He asked.  
Cas bucked his hips up in reply and both men moaned at the friction. “Yes Dean… Please.”  
Dean didn’t think those words could get any hotter until he’d heard Cas say them. He got up from the bed and Cas whined at the loss. He looked slightly confused as if he didn't understand why Dean had gotten up. Dean went to the closet and reached down to the back of the wardrobe to grab the bottle of lube he kept there. It might have been Cas’ room, but Dean kept a supply in every room, save Sammy’s, just in case. You never know when you're going to get in the mood, right?  
Dean climbed back over to Cas and held up the bottle. Realisation swept in and the confusion dispatched. “Had to get it.” Dean murmured into Castiel’s skin. “Wouldn’t want to hurt you.”  
Cas smiled at Dean’s concern. It was sweet but he didn’t really want to wait much longer.  
“Dean. Now please.” Cas panted.  
Dean smirked. “Can’t wait can you Cas?” he said as he slowly spread Castiel’s legs. “Don’t worry baby, I can’t either. Want to be inside you so bad.”  
“Please Dean” Cas begged. Suddenly these were the only words he could think. Along with fuck and now.  
Dean popped the cap open on the lube and poured some onto his fingers. He teased at Cas’ puckered hole. “You look so perfect like this Cas.” Dean purred “All spread out and open for me.”  
Dean pushed one finger in and Cas moaned. Dean moved slowly at first, watching Castiel’s face intently to make sure it was devoid of any discomfort. He soon picked up his pace and when Cas’ breathing was heavy, he added another finger. Cas arched his back and groaned at the intrusion. Dean slowly began scissoring him open before adding a third finger. Cas wasn’t holding back any of his sounds and Dean couldn’t be more happy about it. Although he was pretty sure Sam wouldn't be to pleased, but he could worry about that later.  
Cas had angled his hips up slightly so he could take Dean fingers deeper, soon Dean had hit the spot that had Cas crying out. “Dean” he practically screamed. Dean adjusted his movements slightly and hit that spot again. And then again. Cas was a blubbering mess after just a few more thrusts, begging Dean to just get inside him.  
“Dean please… I need you now…” he panted. “Now Dean… please…”  
Who was Dean to deny his that request? He withdrew his fingers and Cas whined at the loss. He felt so empty. Dean chuckled. He reached for the lube and slathered his hard, aching cock with it. He lined himself up with Castiel’s stretched hole and slowly pushed in. Both men moaned as Dean worked his way into Cas. Their eyes met and Dean lent in to kiss his lover and whispered sweet praises to him.  
“You’re so perfect Cas.” He murmured into the other mans lips. “So perfect for me.”  
Dean bottomed out and Cas revealed in the feeling of having Dean inside him. He had never before felt so full. Dean continued to whisper his endearments as he allowed Cas time to adjust.  
“You feel so good baby.” He panted. “You’re so tight and hot… so fucking good.”  
Cas tilted his hips up and moved slightly, trying to convey to Dean that he was ready. “Dean…” He whimpered. “Dean move…” he begged.  
Dean slowly pulled out, only to thrust in once again. “ughhh Dean…” Cas moaned and wrapped his legs around Dean pulling him even closer.  
Dean’s breathing was getting heavier as he kept pounding into the man beneath him. “fuck Cas… you feel so good.” he panted out “so tight baby. So perfect for me.”  
Cas reached his hands around the bad of Deans neck and pulled him down for a hard, messy kiss. It was all tongue and lacked any kind of finesse but it was perfect and Dean fucking loved it. He changed the angle of his thrusts so that he was nailing Castiel’s prostate with every thrust and Cas arched his back in response and moaned into Deans mouth.  
Dean loved the way Cas was clinging to him, he didn’t think he’d ever been closer to a person. Both literally and figuratively. Cas was so hot around him and as his pace began to falter as his hips thrust forward erratically, Dean knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. He reached down between them and wrapped his hand around Castiel’s neglected cock and Cas bucked up into the touch. Dean collected the pre come that was spilling out and massaged in down Cas’ raging hard on. Castiel’s breathing sped up as Dean worked the angel’s cock at the same pace as his jolted hip movements.  
“Dean please…” Cas didn’t even know what he was asking for, he just knew that he needed it.  
“You gonna come baby?” Dean asked, he was surprised he could still form a coherent sentence because it was clear that Cas couldn’t.  
Cas was panting and moaning below him when Dean could see ever single one of the angels muscles tense and he cried out Dean’s name as he came. And that was it for Dean. He was gone. Castiel’s tight channel clenching around him was unlike anything Dean had ever felt.  
“FUCK CAS” he shouted as he felt himself spill into Cas. His arms gave way, unable to hold up his own weight any longer, he collapsed on top on Cas.  
The room was silent expect for the panting of the two well worn out men. Dean slowly pulled out of Cas and he heard his lover moan as Dean’s come spilt out of his ass and onto the bed sheets. Dean fell next to Cas without a word and pulled him into his arms. He was just about it fall asleep when he felt Cas sucking on his neck.  
“I don’t think I can go for round two just yet baby.” he moaned quietly and despite his words, his cock gave a twitch of interest.  
A few moments later Cas pulled away and whispered “mine” into the bruise he had made. Dean was momentarily confused, but then he huffed out a laugh as he realised that Cas had been making his own mark to cover the one that Tiffany had given him the night before. He pulled Cas closer as the smaller man reseted his head in the crook of Dean’s neck.  
“Yeah Cas. Yours.” Dean quietly replied and he could feel Cas smile against his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully this means you can forgive me for the tears you may or may not have shed (i know i did, even though it probably wasn't all that good).


	9. Living the Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 months flash forward. More smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter. hope you guys liked it.

Dean and Cas had been together for about 6 months now. They didn’t always get to spend a lot of time together because Cas did have to pop in and out of heaven every now and then. But Castiel found he could deal with that knowing that he always had Dean to come back home to. Home. Thats what Dean was to him. Perhaps it was what he had always been.  
It wasn’t perfect and they did fight from time to time. But Cas secretly liked it when they fought. He had never once fought with Djinn Dean, and actually that had been one of the things that made him think it wasn’t real. So Cas could put up with the occasionally fight if it meant that when it was over he got to have the real Dean Winchester all to himself. Besides, Dean could never stay mad at him for every long so it didn’t really matter.  
Castiel walked though the front door of the bunker, he hadn’t spent the night with Dean in almost 3 weeks. Sam and Dean had been on a particularly tedious werewolf hunt and Cas had been busy being a solider of Heaven. They had seen each other a little bit, Cas would pop in every few days to see how both the Winchesters were going. That usually ended up with Sam rolling his eyes and muttering something about there being “too much eye fucking” before he slinks out of the motel room to give them a little bit of privacy. Unfortunately they've rarely had time for more than a quick blow job before one of them gets called somewhere.  
But the thing that Cas loves most is that no matter where he is or how long they've been apart, Dean will always pray to him every night. Usually it’s just about what happened to him that day, keeping Cas informed. Sometimes though, Dean likes to tease him and pray to him while he’s jerking off. On those days Cas finds he has a lot of trouble concentrating on the task at hand.  
Cas found himself smiling at the scene in font of him. Dean was curled up on the couch. Sound asleep. Cas sat down beside him and Dean almost immediately reacted to the angels presence, moving slightly and wrapping himself around his lover. Cas smiled and ran his fingers through Dean’s dark blonde hair. They stayed like that for a few moments, Cas hadn’t wanted to wake him up, he knew how tired Dean must have been from the hunt.  
Then Sam walked in from the kitchen carrying two beer.  
“Hey Dean, Catch.” he called from behind them, and obviously assuming that Dean was just resting rather actually sleeping, he threw the bottle at his brother. Cas managed to catch it before it crashed into the back of Dean’s head, but the angels sudden movement combined with his brothers shouting was enough to make Dean wake up with a jolt.  
“Oh shit. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise he was asleep.” Sam said with an anxious look on his face.  
“It’s quite alright Sam.” Cas said in comfort before Dean had the chance to yell at him.  
Dean stopped and rubbed his eyes. He looked over at the angel sitting beside him and all trace of annoyance washed off his face and he broke into a huge grin.  
“Cas!!” he exclaimed as he threw his arms around his lover.  
Cas huffed a laugh in reply. “hello Dean.” he said.  
Sam chuckled, he knew that the two lovers hadn’t been able to spend a lot of time together recently and quite frankly he was getting a little tired of hearing Dean complain about how much he missed his angel. So he thought he might give them a little space. “I’m gonna head out for a few hours.” He told them. Dean pulled away from Cas and looked up at him. Sam couldn’t help but smile at how happy Dean looked. “Don’t wait up.” he added as he grabbed his jacket and left.  
Dean would have to remind himself to thank his brother later.  
As soon as he heard the door close and the engine of the car start, he practically pounced on Cas.  
“Missed you so much baby.” he panted in between pressing small kisses to Cas’ lips.  
“I missed you too Dean.” was Castiel’s husky reply.  
Dean pushed off Castiel’s signature trench coat as he deepened the kiss and swallowed up Cas’ responding moan.  
“Dean…” he breathed out.  
“yeah baby?” Dean asked as he fumbled with Cas’ tie.  
“Take me to bed.” The angel pleaded. And Dean wasn’t going to argue with that.  
Dean got up off the couch and pulled as with him, hoisting the other man up as to carry him to the bedroom.  
Cas was heavier than he looked but as Cas wrapped his legs around Deans waist to hold himself in place, Dean knew that there was no way he was putting him down.  
Dean slowly struggled toward the room, finding it rather difficult to walking and make out with the gorgeous man above him, but once he dropped Cas down on the bed it was totally worth it. He torn off Cas’ shirt and threw it across the floor, except for his tie. Dean had another plan for that.  
“Put your hands up on the head of the bed.” He ordered.  
Cas looked confused but still did as he was told, holding his hands around the bars at the head of Deans bed. Dean grinned wickedly as he tied his lovers hands together where they were, using the angel’s very own tie.  
Obviously Cas could get out of the insignificant bindings if he wanted to but he was happy to play along, his dick growing harder in anticipation. Dean pulled off the rest of Cas closes and started working his way down Cas’ body. He stopped to flick his tongue over Castiel’s nipple, satisfied with the way the angels breath hitched, he decided to pay them a little more attention. He swirled his tongue around the taut bud and when he heard Castiel begin to pant he moved over to the other one. Cas arched his back as to push himself closer to Dean’s mouth, desperately in search of something more.  
“Dean I need more…” Dean didn’t think he would ever get tired of the way Cas begged and pleaded, his angel was just so fucking perfect. Dean decided to move on from Cas’ red, sensitive nipples, his hands and tongue roamed over every inch of his lovers body, touching every place that he could. Expect, of course, for his dick. Cas growled in frustration at Dean’s unrelenting teasing.  
Still avoiding Castiel’s dick, and smirking at the whine he received for it, Dean spread Cas’ ass open with one hand and sucked a hickey to one of his cheeks as he slicked his fingers up with lube. He teased Castiel’s puckered rim with his slick fingers.  
“Goddamn it Dean!” Cas moaned “please…now” Dean relented and pushed his first finger inside the smaller man. He moved it back and forth and it didn’t take long for him to be able to add a second digit, and soon after that a third.  
Cas found himself thrusting his hips up slightly. He was desperate to find some form of friction to release the pressure on his neglected cock.  
“Dean hurry up” he panted and whined, desperately wanting to be filled with more than just his lovers fingers. Dean pulled his fingers out and covered his hard cock with lube. Finally, Cas thought to himself. But apparently he thought to soon. Dean lined up with Cas’ gaping hole but he didn’t push in, he just continued with his pervious teasing, pushing his cock against Cas’ rim but not putting it him. He was driving Cas mad and he just couldn’t take it anymore. He needed Dean inside of him, like the second they started.  
With a growl Castiel broke the tie that had pathetically attempted to restrain him. Dean was momentarily shocked at Cas’ sudden movement, and Cas used that to his advantage, to grab Dean and roll them over so the hunter was lying beneath him. Cas straddled Dean’s hips and it a matter of seconds and slunk down all the way on Dean’s cock.  
“Fuck Cas!” Dean cried out. “gotta give me some warning man…” he panted out with a slight chuckle.  
“You were taking too long.” Cas huffed out, very matter-of-factly. Him didn’t waste anymore time and soon started moving up and down, riding his Dean hard and fast.  
Soon Dean was thrusting up and meeting Cas’ movements at an unrelenting pace. Dean wanted to tell Cas how fucking gorgeous he looked, totally fucked out and riding him like his fucking life depended on it, but at that point it seemed they had both lost the ability to form a coherent sentence.  
Cas could hear himself getting louder and louder, but he didn’t care. He was so close. He knew it would be just a few more thrusts. As if hearing his thoughts, Dean moved his hand off Cas’ hip and onto his cock. The angle wasn’t great but it was all Cas needed to set him off. Dean continued his movements as Castiel felt his body tense, he dropped his head onto Dean’s shoulder and bit down into his skin with a loud moan as he came in hot streaks all over Dean’s hand and stomach.  
The feeling of Cas’ teeth sinking into his muscle had Dean in hot pursuit of his lover. He continued thrusting as steadily as he could, helping both him and Cas ride out the pleasure of their orgasms.  
After a few minutes of trying to catch his breath Dean spoke up. “How long can you stay for?” He asked. Desperately wanting Cas to say indefinitely, although he knew that wouldn’t be the case.  
“A few days at least” came the angel’s reply and he snuggled closer to Dean in their bed. It might not have been the answer Dean has been hoping for, but it was still damn good news. He smiled as he pulled Cas into his arms.  
“Good.” he murmured. “I hate it when you're gone.”  
“Me too Dean.”  
“I just miss you so fucking much when you're not here.” Cas could here the vulnerability in Dean voice as his admitted it.  
Cas sighed and pressed small kissed to Dean’s chest, next to where he lay his head. “I know you do Dean. I listen to all your prayers.” he said.  
“What..?” Dean said nervously. “All of them…” he asked.  
“Yes Dean. All of them. Including the ones where you're pleasuring yourself.” Dean grinned sheepishly.  
“Well you're not here! I think that only further demonstrates my point.”  
“I’m here now Dean.” Cas said simply.  
Dean couldn’t help the affectionate simple that crossed his face. “Yeah, you are.” he whispered. “And its perfect.”  
He Reached down and pulled Cas in for a slow, loving kiss. And that was how they spent the remainder of their evening. Wrapped in each others arms, whispering sweet I love you’s every chance they got.  
And Dean was right. It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading everyone, would still love comments/feedback!!!! xxx


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